Being a mum is amazing, yet extremely challenging and hard, especially if it’s your first time. Motherhood isn’t teachable, you just experience it, feel it and gain it along the way. There’s no right or wrong, there’s just how and what you choose to be!
I always knew I wanted to be a mum since I was a little girl, that’s what I’ve always dreamed of.
Gratefully, that miracle came to me and “made” me a mum, but now, it’s up to me to figure things out and be the best mum I can possibly be for my child.
Is it hard?
And, I assume that’s every mother’s wish and desire. I also know, from experience that mums are scared, we want what’s best for our children and sometimes we don’t make the best choices and many, but many times we do mistakes.
That’s something I wanted to address in today’s article, to show you, other mommies reading this article, that we DO make mistakes, as mothers, and it’s OK. That’s part of the learning process, that’s how we learn what choices to make and what kind of mother we want to be.
So I joined forces with another 11 lovely mommies from the blogosphere. The idea was to be able to inspire you and to show you that you are not alone in this new role and that’s it’s OK to do mistakes. I find that it’s the best way to learn from your mistakes, or from other people’s mistakes.
At least, I know that works for me really well. So if you are anything like me, you are going to find this post really helpful.
But, before we jump into today’s article, I’d like to take a moment of appreciation and address a massive THANK YOU to the lovely ladies that accepted my collaboration idea. You are the best!
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We all answered the same question:
“What’s your biggest “mistake” you did as a first-time mum?”
Something that you wouldn’t do if you had another chance?
Chock Fern from CFChai.com says:
“The number one mistake I did as a new mom was to worry too much (worry about losing my job, worry about colleagues complaining that I pump milk in office).“The number one mistake I did as a new mom was to worry too much (worry about losing my job, worry about colleagues complaining that I pump milk in office).
I wanted to breastfeed my girl but went back to work on the third month after delivery before I managed to increase my milk output. Ended up deployed to the client site with a hectic schedule with no place to pump milk.
If I ever have another child I would have to take the full maternity leave at one go and force myself to build up the milk supply, be firm about my choice and be mentally prepared to pump milk even in toilet or public.”
Elisa from IntentionalHomeLife.com says:
“I think one of my mistakes as a new mum was not putting my baby down to sleep in her Moses basket. “I think one of my mistakes as a new mum was not putting my baby down to sleep in her Moses basket.
Every time I tried to lie her down she would immediately cry and I’d pick her back up again. The only way she would sleep was if she was lying on my chest whilst I sat UPRIGHT all night long!!
This continued until she was a YEAR OLD!!
If I could go back, I would’ve swaddled her and waited a couple of minutes before picking her up. But as a new mum, it’s difficult to hear your baby cry!”
Haley from LetsMama.com says:
“Being a first-time mom, I know I made many “mistakes”. But, looking back now, I think my biggest mistake as a mom was thinking there was one right way to do everything and that if my baby wasn’t acting perfectly I was doing something wrong!
I probably wasn’t making “mistakes” as often as I thought. I was just a brand new mom, learning and doing her best.
I wish I had realized that more at the beginning especially. It wasn’t my fault if my baby was a little extra fussy or if he started crawling a month later than they say most babies crawl.
Being a mom is hard and honestly, most of us are doing a perfect job at trying our very best and loving our babies.”
Kayla from AccordingToKayla.com says:
“We are four weeks into parenting and as a new mom, I know there are places that we are messing up.
For starters, I had to learn the hard way to cover up my little boy while changing any and every diaper!
But, the number one mistake I have made so far is holding my son until he has fully fallen asleep.
Though he is only a month old, I am now fighting that urge and praying he quickly learns that he can fall asleep without being held!”
Megan from MegansLifeWithLittles.com says:
“The number 1 mistake I did as a new mom was stress about milk output.
The more you stress about it, the less milk your body produces, so that was something I would never do again if I could go back in time.
I would compare myself to other moms saying that had all these ounces of milk frozen in the freezer, and I didn’t have that.
I would stress about it so much, that it affected me not only mentally, but physically as well.
If I could go back and tell myself one thing, it would be to not compare my milk output to others and only control what can control.”
Mallory from NormalMomsClub.com says:
“My number one mistake as a new mom was pretending I could do it all. I didn’t ask for help, I honestly didn’t think I needed it. Until I was so completely overwhelmed that I wasn’t present in my own life.
I was on autopilot.
Taking it all on and not asking for help also left my sons’ father feeling like he didn’t know what he was doing. Not only did I not ask him for help, I never made him do it on his own. Which mean that when I depended on his help neither of us felt confident with his abilities.”
Kristine from KrisBeeMama.com says:
“My number one mistake: When I had my first child, I was drowning in lack of sleep, marital issues and complete inability to see past my fears as a new mom.
There was such tunnel vision that I didn’t see how isolated I had become.
With all my family at least 3 hours away and very few friends that had kids, I should have joined a support group or looked for new mom meetup groups.
Force yourself to get out of the house and connect with your fellow mamas!”
Racheal from ThePacificMommy.com says:
“Ever since my LO was born. I nurse him more on my left boob than the right. As a result of that, he sleeps more on his left side.
Now he is 10 months old and his left ear is sticking out way more than the right one. Even when I try to turn him to sleep on his right side, he would scream and turn back to the left 😣.
I only wish I could have changed that right from the very beginning!….”
Carissa from CarissaRenne.blogspot.com says:
“My biggest mistake was giving into my daughter and letting her watch my phone and youtube all the time.
I never follow through with a punishment and let her get away with.”
Stacey from Mompreneur.buzz says:
“I established a startup business from my maternity leave, in part due the constant verbal abuse I was no longer willing to endure from my creative director at after two long years, as well as finally getting that growing mom determination of fielding professional success according to my game plan after all I was about to have a really wonderful reason for getting over it-as in the doubt, the self-loathing and the self-deprecating “what-if”.
And in motherhood, as we all know now-fear is not an option!
However, regret does come with the territory and my biggest is that I did not do all of this sooner.
I think of the timeline when caring for my newborn coupled with the demands of a startup business all at the same starting line and it certainly did not leave time or mental capacity for establishing a fundamental routine with the care of my son nor allowed me any room to take part in sharing the joys and exploring the camaraderie of motherhood with peers of my own.
Taking the time to validate a tough, yet successful launch into motherhood rather than it competing for attention with the launch of my business. I have a lot to show for it now, however, I do regret what I may have had to sacrifice.”
Melanie from MyLifeWithAMomBun.com says:
“The best advice my mom has given me when I found out I was pregnant was to not lose myself. I wish I would’ve understood then what that meant.
The biggest mistake I made as a first time mom is feeling like I have to be “super mom” and do it all. It’s ok to have help and 7 months I am learning that I NEED the help.
In order for my daughter to be ok, I have to be ok both physically and mentally and sometimes that requires help and that is OK.
I am learning to take the opportunity when it arises to go and get my nails done, treat myself to that massage, or go out to dinner with my girlfriends and not feel guilty about it. It doesn’t make me a bad mom and my child WILL BE OK.
I encourage moms to understand this and REALLY REALLY take time to understand that you are still the person you were before you were a mom and to not lose her.”
Lastly, here’s mine
I’ve got a few mistakes that I’ve done that I wouldn’t repeat, for sure, but because I want to keep my answer as short as possible, I’ll name just one.
One that’s still “haunting” me, but I don’t feel like getting rid of it.
My soon-to-be-15-month-old is still falling asleep with me, on my chest to be more precise. I have this complicated love-hate relationship with it. Meaning that sometimes I really suffer that I taught him to sleep on me and usually this happens when I stay for almost an hour with him on my chest and he still hasn’t fallen asleep.
But when he does the opposite and goes to sleep in 15-30 minutes I feel like I can’t give this up just yet. I just love to hold him, kiss his little forehead and the fact that I can feel his weight drop as soon as he falls asleep. I also know that this doesn’t last forever and soon he’ll be in that phase where he will “reject” me or be ashamed of me showing my love for him, especially because he’s a boy. Haha…
Oh wow! I can’t believe that I found myself in everything these mommies said! Once again, thank you so much for sharing your stories with me.
This is proof that you don’t know anything about something until you went through it.
Now it’s your turn if you feel up for it, PLEASE share your biggest mistake as a mum in the comments below.
I’d learn more about them.
Until next time, take care & stay beautiful!
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